And to be sure, the road to hell is paved with the stuff, but thanks to the documentation of this blog, I noted how much I strayed from my intentions. Just going through my own posts I see my distraction to the mundane: politics!
And don’t get me wrong, I think it is splendid when people stand up against injustice or support certain groups, but sometimes it takes the focus away form the craft itself. For me, the craft is about what I do and the people surrounding me. the accountability of what I do and don’t do; to what I open my eyes to and what to close them to; to words heard and ignored; spoken or unspoken. And believe it or not, just in your own community it is a hard job enough but to worry , for instance, what some idiot in another continent has said.
So I m taking a deliberate turn in my craft to become selfish. Selfishness in terms of following a dream I have, to make come to fruit the desires in developing and exploring my craft, to shun the distractions that hinder me in it.
Ever since I was a child, I felt a connection to the magical realm. I met my guardian spirit when I was 9 years old and growing up pre-internet, there were not many sources I could delve into to sate my hunger for knowledge about the magical realm. growing up in a remote rural part of the country, I was pretty much devoid from access to “traditional sources of magic knowledge and it was not until I was old enough to travel that I met people who were practising magic and who were willing to talk to me about their constructs. I always felt that I was guided by my guardian spirit in those encounters and for some reason, I never talked to the same traditional source twice: east European shamanism, Native Americans of different tribes, the Australian dream time and many more of diverse cultures and backgrounds started to fill my hungry thirst for knowledge with a construct that I felt was present in every person I spoke to. that along with a thirst to know everything that was to know about Sumerian culture which oddly enough were confirmations of my childhood dreams in which my guardian spirit played parts.
My greatest revelations in magic never came form a book or a single tradition, it was always hearing something, doing something or reading something that I felt I already knew. (or in quite a few occurrences, instinctively knowing that someone was full of shit)
This makes it very hard to follow “tradition” in the terms of getting approval of people who claim to master a tradition for the simple reason whenever I am doing something in magical work, and it doesn’t feel right I change it, so it feels right to me and connect with my personal magical construct I have created over the years by looking at different traditions.
I automatically am interested in anyone that starts saying “let me tell you what works for me”. It means I am talking to someone who has learned something and made it better for himself. That will have my attention over anyone just regurgitating text and their only explanation to things is to state “it is tradition!” That doesn’t demonstrate a keen mind of a psychonaut, a person who is willing to push the boundaries of the void, just to see where it will lead him.
For me, to be in the craft is not about degrees, colours of robes or how old and musty the book is one reads from. I have seen recent works of fiction containing more magical wisdom then dusty old tomes where whole tribes still argue over the mistranslation of a single word, let alone whole sections. Magic as a spiritual expression needs to grow, needs to change if there is any truth to as above, as below. The universe constantly changes, you, are a person changes too.
Some will say that dogma is the foundation of religion and that is why tradition is so important, but what if the spiritual expression though magic is the religion? “Oh”, one might say “you just don’t simply declare something to be a religion”. Surprise, what if I believe it is the case?
I have come to think that traditional fundamentalism is the greatest enemy of the craft. Rituals are performed because it is dictated, but not experienced. It is memorised, but not understood, It leads to no answer, for one I not allowed to question. It comes to a madness where anything out of the ordinary or any original idea is discouraged. Someone told me that in a discussion over rituals done at a Grand Sabbath, a comment placed was “oh, that ritual was all wrong, it was too powerful!” Seriously!??!?! Something must have been done right to make all other rituals done that day pale in comparison? I would be jumping up and down to learn how it was done to be able to raise such power.
This kind of utter madness is unfortunately not uncommon from those guising themselves as “masters” of tradition. Mincing words on what is tradition and what not doesn’t make one an accomplished mage and when being out staged, to remark that the ritual was too powerful is just pitiful.
But enough of that, for it is just mere distraction. I do not practise magic to achieve approval from other then the god and the goddess. For all those titles regalia is but nothing what should be left behind for what else should we be then naked in our rites?